My Heart

tumblr_movnv7ZxsN1rn398zo1_500My name is Bernadette Etania Lamarc and I am the proud mother of an eighteen month old baby girl who is too cute for words.  I am a little biased but really I think not.  She has gorgeous inky black hair in soft corkscrew curls and her eyes are a clear slate gray that follow you everywhere.  Her skin tone is an almost buttery caramel color which is a delightful mix of my own and her father’s.  During my pregnancy I craved fish like it was weed and I was a pothead.  I do believe all that omega-3 is the reason for my baby girl’s radiant skin and gleaming hair.  Wait a minute, I haven’t even told you her name. One slight side effect of being a new mom is that I don’t have enough room in my mind for everything so stuff tends to leak out.  How other mothers do it I don’t really know.  Leonard and I chose Kaya Élodie Lamarc after putting 30 names in a hat, closing our eyes and picking out one slip of paper each.

My nena is currently taking her midday nap and even though I should be using this quiet time to work on my comic strip I can’t stop staring and marveling that she is all mine. Oh and Leonard’s as well but mostly mine.  She has her eyes scrunched up and her little mouth is slightly open and yes, she is drooling, but just a teensy tiny bit.  I know she needs her sleep or else we won’t get our’s at night but I want to play with her and talk to her and be a silly goofball.

The nursery has become my favorite room in the apartment mainly because it’s Kaya’s domain but also because I am reminded of all the work Leonard and I put into this space.  The walls are a light lilac and there are painted pansies, cute baby owls and little hearts sprinkled throughout the room.  Leonard and I spent every free moment we had creating a space that would be welcoming and safe for our precious bundle of joy.  I know I sound like the moms in the sentimental/overly emotional commercials but I can’t help myself.  I look at her and my heart expands with a joy I’ve never felt before.  I’m not the only one who turns into a useless ball of mush when she’s around.  Leonard rushes home from work every day to see how his little princess is doing.  He calls me from work at least twice a day to find out what new things she may have done in his absence.  He is such a proud father and his favorite pastime now is taking her out so that other people can comment on how beautiful she is.

Even though we had talked about kids and what it might be like, neither one of us understood the breadth of emotion that we would feel when we finally became parents.  From the moment they laid her in my arms I knew that I would give everything including my life for this special child that had been entrusted into my care, by a power greater than me.  The journey that Leonard and I began three years ago when we got married now includes the most precious of cargos and I couldn’t be happier.


Image from