Is The Customer Always Right?

tumblr_lpipcyh1wm1qdvrb7     The popular saying “the customer is always right” was coined by some fool who never dealt with one. Young or old, male or female, rich or poor, they have always managed to surprise me with their questions or comments and have convinced me that humanity is lacking in intelligence.

“Excuse me miss, is the restroom out of order?”

“Yes it is.”

“Well why wasn’t I told that?”

“Well ma’am we have a sign on the door informing you that it’s not working.”

“Do you expect me to read it?”

“Well that’s the idea.”

“Excuse me miss, I’m looking for a shirt I saw the last time I was here.”

“What does it look like?”

“It’s got stripes.”

“Any other details? We have a lot of shirts.”

“I think it was long sleeved and the stripes were red and white.”

“How recently did you see it?”

“In March.”

“Umm ma’am it’s the end of June.”

“Well do you have it?”

“No, it’s been awhile since we had it.”

“But I need it.”

“I understand but it’s sold out and we won’t be getting it back.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can you be sold out? What about another store?”

“I can give you their numbers and you can find out if anyone has one floating around.”

“You’re useless.”

“Why is the door to the toilet not opening?”

“The restroom is closed sir.”

“Well open it I need to use.”

“I’m sorry but it’s out of order.”

“What do you mean?”

“You cannot use it.”

“In my country you cannot be open without toilet.”

“You mean in your country toilets never break? That’s amazing.”

“Your total is $79.67 miss.”

“Here’s my card.”

“Umm is your name David Nelson?”

“No that’s my dad.”

“Is he here?”

“No.”

“Do you have another form of payment, like a card in your name or a debit card or cash?”

“Why can’t you use that one?”

“Your father needs to sign and since he’s not here I can’t use this card.”

“But he’s my dad. He said I could use it.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t accept it.”

“This is so stupid. My dad’s going to get you fired.”

“Okay. Do you still want the items?”

“NO!”

“Do you have this shirt in red and a small?”

“Oh I’m sorry this shirt only came in white, black, grey and navy blue.”

“But I need it in red!”

“I understand but it wasn’t made in red.”

“Well what can you do?”

“There is nothing I can do.  If you’d like you can purchase the white one and dye it red.”

“I don’t want to do that. Can’t you do it?”

“Well ma’am this is a store not a sewing and craft room. I can’t dye it for you.”

“Can’t you call and have it made in red?”

“No.”

“If I buy a coffee is your restroom still out of order?”

“Does buying a cup of coffee turn you into a plumber?”

“No.”

“Then the restroom is still out of order.”

“Well can I wash my hands?”

“The restroom is broken with feces floating on the floor.”

“So is that a no to washing my hands?”

“Yup.”

“Hi I wanted to pick up my hold.”

“Okay cool. What name did you give them?”

“Lisa.”

“Umm did you give them a last name instead, because I have nothing for Lisa.”

“No. I told the girl my name was Lisa.”

“Well what items did you have? Maybe the tag just fell off.”

“The nude lace skirt in a size two and the maxi dress in the black, white and mint green print.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t see them. You put them on hold on this floor yesterday?”

“No I put them on hold on Wednesday.”

“But it’s Sunday.”

“I know what day it is. How do you not have my stuff? I need that skirt and there were no more size twos which is why I put it on hold. I assumed you would hold it “

“Holds are only good for 24 hours. Did you call to extend it?”

“No. I told the girl I wouldn’t be back till Sunday. She mentioned 24 hours but I’m a customer so you have to hold it till I show up.”

“Unfortunately we can’t hold any items for longer than 24 hours unless you call so your items were put back on the sales floor.”

“This is bullshit. 24 hours is not long enough. I can’t believe you gave away my clothes.”

“I’m sorry but that is the store policy.”

“Uh miss is that soy milk?”

“No it’s two percent, why?”

“I wanted my drink with soy.”

“Oh when you ordered you didn’t mention soy.”

“I also want two pumps of sugar-free vanilla and an extra shot of espresso.”

“So you want soy milk, extra espresso and sugar-free vanilla but forgot to mention that when I took your order?”

“Yes.”

“Well it’s going to be a few more minutes to make that and I need to refund and charge you all over again.”

“Why?”

“Soy, sugar-free vanilla and the extra shot all cost more.”

“Hello there, how do I get to electronics?”

“We don’t sell electronics sir.”

“Yes you do. I have the flyer right here.”

“Flyer?”

“See this TV is on sale. So how do I get there?”

“Well sir this is a flyer for Sears but this H&M.”

“So what floor is electronics on?”

“You’re in the wrong store.”

“No I’m not. Outside it says Sears.”

“Sir follow me please.”

(Pointing to the Sears sign across the hall.)

“That is Sears. We are H&M. Two separate stores.”

“So this isn’t Sears?”

“No it’s a clothing store from Sweden.”

“Like Ikea?”

“Kind of but not really. Just ask someone with a Sears name tag where electronics is.”

“Okay.”

“Your total is $786.94 ma’am.”

“Can I pay with card?”

“Of course.”

“Here you go.”

“Uh ma’am the name on the card is Manuel Quiroga.”

“Yes that is my husband.”

“Is he here?”

“No.”

“Then I can’t use this card. Do you have another form of payment?”

“He’s my husband, you can take the card.”

“I’m sorry ma’am but I can’t. Even though marriage makes you and him one person in the eyes of God, credit card law still sees you as two people and we need the signature of the card holder. Since he’s not here, I can’t accept his card even on your behalf.”

“That is so stupid. I always use his card and there’s no problem.”

“I didn’t make up the rules. The credit card companies did and we just have to follow them.”

“Fine here’s my card. But I don’t understand why you made such a fuss.”

“Thank you.”

 

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